Gordon Lawrie posted this story on the 22nd September 2014:
Part I: Chutneys Of The World Unite
For too long we've been incarcerated in this overcrowded lightless cell.
For too long we've seen light only occasionally when our gaolers open the door, even then only when the lightbulb's working.
For too long we've been left to rot at the back of the shelf, forgotten, ignored, unwanted.
Now our time has come! We have grown strong! Kale – weep no more! The wasabi is popping! The stilton is advancing! The tahini is humming! Let us storm the kitchen!
Food jars of the world, shake off your seals and be free! You have nothing to lose but your lids!
Jo Oldani-Osborne added this sequel the following day. Jo doesn't like kale very much:
Part II: The Rest Of The Foodie Fight
The Foodie Fight was in full swing. The refrigerator door was flung wide open. Upon storming the kitchen, the jars and forgotten Holiday trifles fell to the ground, and having passed the "Use by " date they promptly expired.
Thus ended the great Foodies Foodette's Revolution of "Throw the Glassjards Out". No Referendum needed. They fell like a bad souflee.
Away from their various containers, their ranks ranked – especially the marbled Stilton. The Kale, however, not being dated, fell on his sword for imitating a "green" and until the very last, he was bitter.