“Away back tae yer ain country, ya bam!”
“Leave him alane,” the thug’s pregnant girlfriend cried, “he means nae harm!”
“Away you and shut up,” the thug shouted. He drew her closer, then grabbed her by the neck, kicked her, forced her down, then kicked her again repeatedly in the stomach as she lay curled up on the floor. Fortunately at that moment the police appeared to save her.
As the police took his statement, the thug said, "I went too far, I only wanted tae propose tae her.”
* * *
Now before you think this is yet another Gordon FFF story, it's not. It's merely a reporting of a genuine High Court case currently happening in Edinburgh. (Although in 100 words, which is probably 85 more than the thug could manage without scratching his head.) Scotland, if you didn't know, is that land where the "Glasgow kiss" is actually a headbutt.
But you have to admit we have style...
P.S. Translations available on request.