"I am weary of life," he said. "And I wish to end my life." But he did not want to commit outright suicide; that might taint his legacy, for suicide was synonymous with cowardliness.
One morning he awoke with just the right and perfect way to execute his own passing. "I shall die by euthanasia!" he proclaimed.
He ordered the cooks to prepare all his favorite dishes and had a dozen of his most loyal and loving concubines gently place him on a pile of soft, soft satin pillows, then ordered the feast to begin.
He ate and ate, and ate even more, though he felt he could not hold another bite. He was determined, for his means of euthanasia was this: He planned to eat himself to death, which he had been doing for many years, anyway.
At last he felt that his time was near; his body was stretched to bursting. He was suffocating from the huge amounts of food and drink he had taken in, in such a short period of time. To make his exit from this life as comfortable as possible, he drank a gallon of water liberally laced with baking soda so that he might die with a minimum of stomach distress.
(Submitted in the 500-word maximum category.)