Most of my friends are burning to death right now. I can almost smell them from inside this dive bar. My first friend to go was, Christian. How ironic is that? Yeah, he was your typical atheist on a redundant agenda. He even had a death metal band. They weren't anything special, so they won't be missed. Just like any of the bands from the 21st century, they lacked originality. If you took twenty of the top death metal bands from the nineties, and meshed them together you'd get his cliche band. Their gimmick was the anti-God lyrics behind the banal music. Slayer beat them to the punch thirty something years ago. You can kiss that band goodbye too.
I happen to volunteer at the food bank monthly, plus I have the credentials to back it up. I'm in the clear. Vilifying God lost its charm ten years ago. I'm a profound thinker and a versatile conversationalist. I'll live until I die from cirrhosis of the liver with the way I drink. It's better than fire though, you atheist scum.
I'm keen on my first amendment rights, but I'm willing to be lenient on the acount of monotony. I've been here in Pittsburgh for five decades now, and I've run into the same conversation time and time again. I wanna celebrate Christmas without some asshole trying to shit on my Christmas tree. Hallelujah!
I heard a group of five hundred atheists stormed the capital building in Harrisburg only to be shot down without warning. Those picket signs didn't stand a chance. I haven't had bourbon in five years, but I'll gladly drink to that. Jesus saves, all you have to do is embrace the Lord!
Diversity can be nice, but like everything else it has its price. These God haters are self serving bastards who breed nothing but negativity. Life is precious. Everyone deserves to live, as long as they live in peace. Atheists are incapable of understanding this. We as a society don't want discord. We want Easter eggs and ham dinner. Not a fucking public protest! If you ask me, it serves them right. They had it coming, it was inevitable!
Now that they're taken care of, I can focus on other things, joyful things like the Pittsburgh Steelers and Iron City beer. God bless!