FOOD
Beg. Sit. Speak. Fetch. Good Grief, can my master say anything but one-word commands to me? I’m a dog, not an idiot. On the other hand, my master may be one. He never exercises, just lies sprawled on the couch, constantly eating Cheetos/Doritos/Tostitos endlessly and watching tv like a zombie. And he’s judged the smartest animal (of course, other humans created the list). Sometimes I screw with him, just to make him get his lazy bulk up and come open the kitchen door so I can go outside to pee (and I have already peed in his bedroom!).
