I have recently become aware that, whereas I am somewhat deprived of money in these cash-strapped times, your institution has resources to spare. This being inequitable and unfair, I now seek redress.
I would therefore appreciate if you could withdraw the sum of £100,000 in small denominations from your safe and pass it to me, neatly bundled.
I prefer to remain silent and masked; the loaded gun that is also now visible will conduct any further communication.
PS Translations of this leaflet are also available in 14 other languages as well as Braille.