Beans, by Amy Friedman

“Beans, beans, beans, beans, BEEEEEEEEEEANS … wonderful BEEEEEEEEEEEANS!”
“I thought that was spam!”
“What?”
“You know, the Monty Python spam routine.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“ ‘We got spam, eggs n spam, eggs bacon n spam, spam eggs bacon and spam – ’”
“That’s already annoying.”
“Well, yeah. Spam is annoying. Anyway, what’s so great about beans? Turns you into a fart-o-matic.”
“If you put kombu in the bean pot you won’t fart.”
“Kombu? What in the hell is that?”
“Seaweed.”
“And you’re ranking on me about spam? Good grief.”
“Don’t knock it till you tried it.”