Election Fever, by Gordon Lawrie

Source: Neptune Zehner/Google

Source: Brandalyn Crapo

As usual, voters in Neptunian elections revelled in the rough and tumble of the 2016 Imperial Election. Candidates’ debates were like murderous cage-fights; each aspiring politician strove to sink to the highest levels of insult. “Lyin’ Bellog” claimed “Philanderin’ Prullit’s” wife was so ugly she could be used as a war weapon, Prullit said Bellog’s wife was a whore and a Jupiter spy. Each promised to turn the other’s children into hamburgers. In the end, no election was actually held: the last two candidates killed each other off.
 
Meanwhile, nearby Plutonians shook their heads in despair and drank more tea.