John was unhappy as he did not like porridge. When she saw his confusion she told him he should be like Goldilocks but he told her he didn’t fancying breaking and entering the bears’ cottage.
Samantha said that there was no universal answer to his back pain problem and that his medical condition precluded a spinal operation.
He should try pain killers, cannabis oil, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture or exercise until he found the balanced porridge cure.