Keeping Oneself Fed, by Eric Smith

Some guys had odd habits—but better than mine—when it came to eating vegetables. I don’t mean fresh stuff; I’m talkin about canned vegetables. I knew two dudes—they’d never met so there’s no question of imitation—used to eat peas and green beans from eight-ounce cans. Both of them, Big Jim Green and my roommate, Kovacs, just happened to eat vegetables the same idosyncratic way—they’d stand up facing the kitchen counter and wolf them down cold, straight out of the can. Okay, they’d use a spoon—I don’t wish to imply they lacked breeding or manners.