The Minor Injuries Unit was full of bodies wearing red outfits. Triage staff attempted to prioritise the cases:
‘I was hung from a door handle for six hours.’
‘I got shoved into a holly bush.’
‘I was covered in flour, I’m gluten free!’
In an adjacent room, group therapy was taking place as participants shared stories of psychological abuse.
‘I get blamed for everything.’
‘Photos of me committing crimes are fake.’
Concerned for the welfare of elves on shelves, Santa commissioned an investigation. Its findings led to a worldwide revolt. Christmas became an annual celebration of the persecution of humans.
‘I was hung from a door handle for six hours.’
‘I got shoved into a holly bush.’
‘I was covered in flour, I’m gluten free!’
In an adjacent room, group therapy was taking place as participants shared stories of psychological abuse.
‘I get blamed for everything.’
‘Photos of me committing crimes are fake.’
Concerned for the welfare of elves on shelves, Santa commissioned an investigation. Its findings led to a worldwide revolt. Christmas became an annual celebration of the persecution of humans.
