Thank you for your application to renew your driver’s licence.
However, your comments, ‘I may not be able to walk straight, but I can still drive a sleigh,’ and ‘the reindeer know where they’re going, most of the time,’ were as reassuring as a faulty fairy light on a Christmas tree.
Taking into consideration your exemplary driving record (no points for 1,750 years) and that we wouldn’t want children to miss out on their presents this year, we’ve decided to renew your licence.
But any breaches of elf and safety, will go on the naughty list.
DVLA