You abused me monstrously before I bought the gun and stopped you. "I'll come back for you, bitch!" you said just before you died. I thought I was rid of you forever. Everyone thinks a burglar broke in and killed you.
But when I came home this afternoon your note was on the fridge door: "Hi, honey, I'm home!" There's no way I could mistake your handwriting. You're dead--but I know you've returned for me!