Vincent Hardman, (Newton United) in the explosive derby against Newton Rovers had scored twice and was roaring past defenders for the third, when Rover’s player, ‘Bulldog’ Jones, tackled him ‘energetically’.
When clutching his leg failed to get Jones sent off, Vinny jumped to his feet. “You bastard!” he screamed, punching Bulldog, who obligingly punched back.
The referee pulled them apart; yellow cards for both. “Ref,” wailed Vinny, proceeding to argue.
“Who’s in charge of this match?”
“Neither of us, ref.”
The red card and early bath proved otherwise as Hardman trudged back to the bench.