Gerry almost spit out his hot coffee when he saw the email from Cindy. She ended their six-month relationship a week ago.
“Why is she emailing me?” He said out loud.
“What the hell,” he said, opening the email.
Dear Gerry,
Cindy ended your relationship. Breaking up is hard for everyone and Cindy maintains high compassion standards. She would appreciate knowing how she handled this difficult event.
Click for survey:
A freaking survey? His email box was filled with survey requests from stores, businesses, restaurants, even his dentist's office. But Cindy?
Shaking his head, he clicked the button and was transferred to the web-based survey.
How considerate of your feelings was Cindy during the breakup event? Rate on a scale of one to seven, with one Cindy being a kind, considerate human being and seven Cindy being an evil bitch from hell’s lower basement.
Gerry thought about that and clicked the number seven. In fact, he clicked it a few times even though the additional clicks did nothing other than make him feel better.
How would you rate the location where the breakup took place, with one being comfortable and discreet, and seven being embarrassingly mortifying”
Gerry clicked the seven key again. She broke up with him at his favorite pizzeria. He teared up and dropped his extra sauce pizza face down on his lap, then knocked over his beer, trying to catch it. The bottle bounced across the floor, spinning in circles and creating a racket. Everyone in the restaurant stared at him. He can never return there.
How well did she explain her reasoning for the breakup? The scale is one to seven, with one being clear and concise, and seven her using perplexingly large words and odd facial expressions.
She said I was a Neanderthal dick, Gerry remembered, and paused his finger an inch from the seven key. He stayed frozen for several seconds, finally exhaled with a long breath. He grudgingly moved his finger to the three key.
Did Cindy conclude the breakup event with finality?
She told him if he ever came near her, she would kick him in the nuts so hard he would start farting out his left ear. He wasn’t entirely sure how that would work. Sadly, slowly, he clicked the one key.
Was there anything Cindy could have done to be more humane in handling the situation? Please explain:
Gerry gulped the last of his coffee. He thought about his response for several agonizing minutes. He wanted to create a scathing response that would guarantee a negative review. Maybe a warning for the next dumb dick that falls for her pointy breasts and long legs.
He frowned.
“Ah shit”, he said out loud.
He wrote, “Cindy was way out of my league. Why she ever started dating a Neanderthal dick like me, I’ll never know. I’ll miss the crazy bitch.”
He hit the submit key.
“Why is she emailing me?” He said out loud.
“What the hell,” he said, opening the email.
Dear Gerry,
Cindy ended your relationship. Breaking up is hard for everyone and Cindy maintains high compassion standards. She would appreciate knowing how she handled this difficult event.
Click for survey:
A freaking survey? His email box was filled with survey requests from stores, businesses, restaurants, even his dentist's office. But Cindy?
Shaking his head, he clicked the button and was transferred to the web-based survey.
How considerate of your feelings was Cindy during the breakup event? Rate on a scale of one to seven, with one Cindy being a kind, considerate human being and seven Cindy being an evil bitch from hell’s lower basement.
Gerry thought about that and clicked the number seven. In fact, he clicked it a few times even though the additional clicks did nothing other than make him feel better.
How would you rate the location where the breakup took place, with one being comfortable and discreet, and seven being embarrassingly mortifying”
Gerry clicked the seven key again. She broke up with him at his favorite pizzeria. He teared up and dropped his extra sauce pizza face down on his lap, then knocked over his beer, trying to catch it. The bottle bounced across the floor, spinning in circles and creating a racket. Everyone in the restaurant stared at him. He can never return there.
How well did she explain her reasoning for the breakup? The scale is one to seven, with one being clear and concise, and seven her using perplexingly large words and odd facial expressions.
She said I was a Neanderthal dick, Gerry remembered, and paused his finger an inch from the seven key. He stayed frozen for several seconds, finally exhaled with a long breath. He grudgingly moved his finger to the three key.
Did Cindy conclude the breakup event with finality?
She told him if he ever came near her, she would kick him in the nuts so hard he would start farting out his left ear. He wasn’t entirely sure how that would work. Sadly, slowly, he clicked the one key.
Was there anything Cindy could have done to be more humane in handling the situation? Please explain:
Gerry gulped the last of his coffee. He thought about his response for several agonizing minutes. He wanted to create a scathing response that would guarantee a negative review. Maybe a warning for the next dumb dick that falls for her pointy breasts and long legs.
He frowned.
“Ah shit”, he said out loud.
He wrote, “Cindy was way out of my league. Why she ever started dating a Neanderthal dick like me, I’ll never know. I’ll miss the crazy bitch.”
He hit the submit key.
