“Tell me Ben. Why on earth do you take the fall for others? You had nothing to do with the carjacking by Straw Hat Pizza employees last week.”
“They’re my friends and coworkers.”
“Some friends; they borrow all your money, take advantage of you for transportation, and bring out the very worst in you.”
“You only know part of that story. Our boss set them up because all three dated and then jilted his daughter at one time or another.”
“Adele?”
“You know damn well it is, Celia. The two of you were thick as thieves until recently.”
“Well, I must admit; she’s a vengeful slut…. Though I can’t blame them for dumping her, those three nitwits should have known better!”
“Again, none of us did anything illegal; we were framed!”
“Still, you just lost your third job in a row by not minding your own business and allowing other losers to fall by the wayside.”
“Our Republican president, the biggest loser in the world, constantly calls the kettle black when accusing others. Then he brags how successful he has been—and will be—in life.”
“Let’s not get sidetracked talking politics, Ben”
“Okay. When did we start hangin’ out, Celia?”
“About two years ago, why?”
“How’d we meet? Do you even remember?”
“Sure. We were at the Bodega, drinking brewskis, listening to Hot Tuna.”
“As I recall, though both flirty and friendly, you frequently broke down in tears while we attempted to hear each other talk over the sound of the band.”
“Yeah, my asshole landlord threw me out of my apartment…. But then you invited me to crash at your place.”
“Just out of curiosity, how long did you plan to stay, Celia?”
“Er, we became lovers and—”
“How long!”
“What’s with you, Ben? We never established a minimum stay, especially after we’d become a couple.”
“Who paid the bills?”
“You managed to do so—I never said otherwise.”
“How?”
“Dunno.”
“By putting aside part of each pay check I received, preparing for a rainy day.”
Irritated, Celia shook her head and snapped, “We’re arguing about your loser friends, not rainy days.”
“Correction. We were talking about us and how I’ve provided you with food and shelter—job or no job.”
“Ben—what point are you trying to make?”
“Well, Celia, you’ve been right all along. I’ve emotionally blinded myself to a stark reality.”
“Do tell?”
“Without a doubt, I need to reprioritize my friendships.”
“High time,” she sighed with an air of satisfaction and approval.”
“Pack your bags, Celia. I want you out of my house by tonight.”
“Be serious Ben; I’m not the loser in this room.”
“Fine. Drop me an email relating your future successes.”
Celia smirked, raised her eyebrows, and questioned, “Aren’t you forgetting something Ben?”
“What might that be?” be he retorted smugly.
“I inherited our house from my grandmother. I’m going nowhere!”
“They’re my friends and coworkers.”
“Some friends; they borrow all your money, take advantage of you for transportation, and bring out the very worst in you.”
“You only know part of that story. Our boss set them up because all three dated and then jilted his daughter at one time or another.”
“Adele?”
“You know damn well it is, Celia. The two of you were thick as thieves until recently.”
“Well, I must admit; she’s a vengeful slut…. Though I can’t blame them for dumping her, those three nitwits should have known better!”
“Again, none of us did anything illegal; we were framed!”
“Still, you just lost your third job in a row by not minding your own business and allowing other losers to fall by the wayside.”
“Our Republican president, the biggest loser in the world, constantly calls the kettle black when accusing others. Then he brags how successful he has been—and will be—in life.”
“Let’s not get sidetracked talking politics, Ben”
“Okay. When did we start hangin’ out, Celia?”
“About two years ago, why?”
“How’d we meet? Do you even remember?”
“Sure. We were at the Bodega, drinking brewskis, listening to Hot Tuna.”
“As I recall, though both flirty and friendly, you frequently broke down in tears while we attempted to hear each other talk over the sound of the band.”
“Yeah, my asshole landlord threw me out of my apartment…. But then you invited me to crash at your place.”
“Just out of curiosity, how long did you plan to stay, Celia?”
“Er, we became lovers and—”
“How long!”
“What’s with you, Ben? We never established a minimum stay, especially after we’d become a couple.”
“Who paid the bills?”
“You managed to do so—I never said otherwise.”
“How?”
“Dunno.”
“By putting aside part of each pay check I received, preparing for a rainy day.”
Irritated, Celia shook her head and snapped, “We’re arguing about your loser friends, not rainy days.”
“Correction. We were talking about us and how I’ve provided you with food and shelter—job or no job.”
“Ben—what point are you trying to make?”
“Well, Celia, you’ve been right all along. I’ve emotionally blinded myself to a stark reality.”
“Do tell?”
“Without a doubt, I need to reprioritize my friendships.”
“High time,” she sighed with an air of satisfaction and approval.”
“Pack your bags, Celia. I want you out of my house by tonight.”
“Be serious Ben; I’m not the loser in this room.”
“Fine. Drop me an email relating your future successes.”
Celia smirked, raised her eyebrows, and questioned, “Aren’t you forgetting something Ben?”
“What might that be?” be he retorted smugly.
“I inherited our house from my grandmother. I’m going nowhere!”
