I look around. A few strange faces. Busy capturing moments of their beautiful life. Beautiful? I smirk. Then why am I here today? Ready to let go. Why do I not see any friendly face in these last few moments?
Face your fear – they said. Let go of your shackles – they said. Embrace your fear, and enjoy true essence of life. Live life at it’s fullest. It would be excruciating – they never said. It would make your bones quiver, so much so that you will want to give up – they missed.
And so, here I am. On the cliff.
30 seconds. I panic.
What if this moment is the last before I jump? Before I embrace what comes next?
I see a few smiling faces. Happy. Excited. Maybe they wave?
20 seconds. I shiver.
Flashes of faces. Friends. Family. A few memories. Arguing. Laughing. Without a hint of what comes next.
So this is it! Maybe it is better like this. To find myself enraptured by the wind, scarcely able to breathe, captured in an instant from hope to despair, blood thumping through your veins so fast that you feel it, is worth the last few moments of sanity.
A rush of wind gushing through. My heart beating with suffocating pace. The river seems close. Much close.
Splashes of water on my face. A lump in my throat.
I close my eyes. The end is near.
A sudden jolt.
The rope works!
I let out a shout. A shout of joy. Of exuberance. Of conquering fear. The fear of heights. The fear of falling down. The fear of letting go.
This is worth the asphyxiating fear. Because what comes next is pure freedom. Freedom from my fear. Freedom from my own shackles. Freedom to live my life. Live, and not just breathe.
This gives hope. Hope, that even at the lowest point, all is not over. Hope, that the journey downhill will stop.
And now, I am going back up.