As a valued subscriber to our premium service, Fleamentoes are delighted to bring you details of our latest range of life accessories themed on recent Shakespeare productions in Wivenhoe. We trust you will find this of interest.
1. The “Shylock” knife and matching whetstone set.
A beautifully crafted oriental style knife in the finest Toledo steel, complete with exquisitely carved ivory scabbard. (We are of course elephant-friendly and use only certified, farmed material.) Probably the sharpest available, honed using the latest “hairsbreadth” technology.
Matching Arkansas whetstone custom mounted in the sole of the shoe of your choice. As favoured by Sir Laurence Olivier.
2. The “Belmont” casket stand.
Amaze your Spanish and Moroccan friends! Designed exclusively for Fleamentoes by Michaelangelo Cellini. Finished in 24 carat gold , sterling silver or basest lead. Invaluable for displaying your favourite caskets and scrolls. (Matching hand-written scrolls are of course available to order, with your very own voice of wording.)
Can be adapted to use as a wine cooler, jardiniere, or music stand, or perhaps display your fool’s head of choice.
3. The “Antonio” bond.
Hand written in real blood on finest goatskin vellum. A versatile and sporty wording to suit the most frivolous taste, allowing a wide and eclectic choice of amounts and penalties. Winner of the prestigious Corbière Prize for Law Document of the Year, 2015
Just the thing for that impromptu loan. With this in your pocket you will always be ready to help your best friend get his girl. Certified and approved by the Venice Notaries Guild. A firm favourite with commodity traders everywhere.
4. The “DT” fool’s head.
A doll of rare and special quality, to fit the “Belmont” casket. The design details are a carefully guarded secret, but the doll is widely rumoured to have an uncanny resemblance to a recent US President.
(The designer assures us that this is purely coincidental, but we do not recommend travelling to the USA at the present time with this in your luggage. Fleamentoes cannot be responsible for any resulting difficulties.)
5. The “Nerissa” ring.
Crafted in white gold, this unisex jewellery has a timeless appeal to the connoisseur. Will help the newly-wed wife to know if hubby really is helping himself to a little on the side. Guaranteed never to fail. Should be used only as a last resort.
All items are POA and subject to availability.
Fleamentoes present their compliments and look forward to the favour of your enquiries.
We also undertake commissions to your very own design and specification.
Please feel free to circulate our list to your most discerning friends.
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For new readers, Mr Flea (so named for correcting the wardrobe mistress's spelling of puce) provided props for a production of the Merchant of Venice. John Wallett designed the programme and the show was in the garden of a house called “Corbière”.