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Sometimes You Do What'cha Gotta Do, by Jim Bartlett

3/9/2021

 
With his foot pressed hard on the accelerator, his hands wrapped in a white-knuckled death-grip on a steering wheel that shimmies and shakes, he squints with reddened eyes through a cracked and dirty windshield. His breath comes in short gasps, his heart, like the car’s cranky old motor, races, as if it’s trying to pound its way out of his chest.

Yet he somehow keeps his mind and focus forward, the smeared glass offering a view of a black asphalt ribbon that slices a straight and narrow path through the cornfields, before disappearing into a sky cloaked in dark angry clouds.

He takes in a deep breath. There’s a storm brewing. Rain. Thunder. Lightning.

Yet he knows it won’t be like the one he’s just left behind. Nothing could ever be like that one.

Another deep breath. He shouldn’t have to be doing this. He’s fifteen for God’s sake. He should be worried about the algebra test he was supposed to take today. Worried about pimples. Worried about how to talk to MarySue in Biology without sounding like a putz.

Instead he worries about--

A moan from behind pulls his eyes from the road and to the mirror. His mother, tucked into a fetal position, lies shivering in the rear seat as if the car is filled with ice. Her swollen eyes are still closed, but at least the blood around her nose seems to be crusting over. She, like him, breaths in deep gasps, though hers carries a slight wheeze. Of pain or hope or fear, he’s not sure which.

He won’t let himself look at her arm, how it’s bent in that unnatural angle. Instead, he turns his gaze to her bare legs, where new bruises blanket over old.

Only twelve more miles. The sign said only twelve more miles.

Though the telephone poles fly by like fence posts, he presses harder on the gas. But the petal has nothing more to give, leaving the engine to growl in discontent, and the tension inside him to finally boil over.

The vented steam comes in the form of tears, a luxury he’s not been able to afford to this point. It would have resulted in a slurred and angered, “Girlie boy,” shouted to his face with a hurricane-force wind of cigarette and beer-laced breath followed by an open-hand slap that would have sent him reeling to the floor.

That’s behind him now. He needs to leave it behind. He HAS to leave it behind. Just like the house he used to call home. And that man...that man he used to call a father.

He turns his focus back to the horizon where the black clouds continue to gather. This new storm has been waiting for him. He’s long felt its cold digging into his gut. But, it’s okay. She’s gonna be okay. He’s gonna be okay.

Because his conscience remains empty, like the chambers of the still warm gun that lies beside him.

Sometimes you do what’cha gotta do.
Marjan Sierhuis
3/9/2021 12:52:25 pm

A story that keeps us on the edge right to the end.
This is excellent, Jim.

Jim link
3/9/2021 03:38:45 pm

Thanks so much, Marjan. So glad you enjoyed it.
Take care
Jim

Angela Carlton link
3/9/2021 01:02:13 pm

Intense, like the comment above, you're on edge, holding on for dear life in that car.

Jim link
3/9/2021 03:40:12 pm

Thanks Angela! Appreciate your comment!
Take care
Jim

Bill Sells
3/9/2021 01:42:57 pm

Love it! 'Hurricane-force wind of cigarette...' Very intense and visual.

Jim link
3/9/2021 03:41:40 pm

Thanks much, Bill. I'm so glad the "intensity" came across. (I liked that line as well...)

Take care
Jim

michael McCarthy
3/9/2021 04:57:27 pm

Brilliantly descriptive and building up to a powerful denouement which does not disappoint. Great stuff, Jim!

Jim link
3/9/2021 07:54:56 pm

Thanks much for the read and the kind comments, Michael!

Take care
Jim

Norman Shaft
3/9/2021 05:43:16 pm

Wow Jim! A brilliant story with an ending I did not see coming. Well done!

Jim link
3/9/2021 07:55:42 pm

So glad you enjoyed it, Norman. Thanks for the nice comment!
Take care
Jim

Mike B
3/9/2021 07:23:19 pm

Wow!! Suspenseful, Intense, Chilling, Maddening, are a few words that come to mind after reading this story. I was picturing everything this young boy was going through. No child should ever have to experience what he did, and feel the need to do what he did. Very well written Jim!!!
I give it 5 Stars and 2 Thumbs Up!!

Jim link
3/9/2021 07:56:46 pm

Wow is right, Mike - you are too kind with your words. But thanks ever so much for the read and comments!!
Take care
Jim

Drew L
3/9/2021 08:52:30 pm

Nice work, Jim. Masterful control of tension and controlling how much the reader knows about what's going on. Well done!

Jim link
3/9/2021 10:29:04 pm

Thanks ever so much, Drew. Appreciate your kind words.

Take care
Jim

Padmini
4/9/2021 04:55:17 am

It is embarrassing for a parent to even have children listen to their arguments and it is terrifying when it comes to this. Brilliant write-up with a chilling end. And the descriptions add a lot to the story, like the, ' the sky cloaked in dark angry clouds...'

Jim link
4/9/2021 07:20:48 am

It should indeed never come to this. Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, Padmini.
Take care
Jim

Sue Clayton
4/9/2021 08:09:47 am

Jim, my heart was beating harder and faster than a jackhammer. The brutality of domestic violence portrayed in words as bruising as the bruises on her arms.

Jim link
4/9/2021 04:29:28 pm

Thanks, Sue. Really appreciate your kind words (nice turn of phrase, by the way).
Take care
Jim

David Lowis
4/9/2021 09:01:02 am

A harrowing scene vividly depicted. Excellent writing.

Jim link
4/9/2021 04:30:30 pm

Thanks much, David. Really appreciate your comments!
Take care
Jim

Ian Mitchell
4/9/2021 02:04:42 pm

I thouroghly enjoyed that Jim. Very well written.

Jim link
4/9/2021 04:31:13 pm

So glad you enjoyed it, Ian. Thanks for taking a moment to make a comment!!
Take care
Jim

Doug
4/9/2021 06:54:21 pm

Excellent Jim. I felt like I was in the car with them not knowing what was going on until the very end. Great job.

Jim link
4/9/2021 09:00:04 pm

Thanks, Doug. So glad you enjoyed it and got the "feel." Appreciate the kind words.
Take care
Jim

Kim Favors
4/9/2021 07:14:48 pm

It was like I was kidnapped -- I became a passenger unable to escape. Experiencing the ride through the visuals and son's thoughts. Great storytelling.

Jim link
4/9/2021 09:01:34 pm

Thanks so much, Kim. You never know if the edge you're looking for comes across to the reader. Thanks for the validation. (and the nice words)
Take care
Jim

Sarah L Blum link
5/9/2021 12:10:51 am

WoW Jim-an amazing piece. Gripping from the first line to the last word. Suspense filled to the very end. You had us all from word one to the last. Such a sad story all too familiar what children and teens go through. So poignantly descriptive, we are right there trying to take a deep breath and keep our hearts from popping out. Well done yet again.

Jim link
5/9/2021 04:20:01 am

You are very kind, Sarah. Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I'm glad it "gripped" you...

Tale care
Jim

Carol Garrasi
8/9/2021 02:06:25 pm

Wonderfully descriptive phrases. I could almost feel the rain and hear the thunder. I'm sure a sad and painful cord was struck with some readers which attests to your amazing ability to weave a tale. Nicely done.

Jim link
8/9/2021 03:32:27 pm

Thanks, Carol, for the kind words. So glad you enjoyed the story and even more so that you took a moment to comment on it.
Take care
Jim


Comments are closed.

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    ​Please note that we tend to post longer flash fiction exactly as we find it – wrong spacing, everything.

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