I have long spent my days alone, isolated due to a world, a society, that has gone insane. I can remember the time long ago when it functioned: when people cared, when people had not descended into self-absorbed behaviour. Now, they are more concerned with checking their social media status and recording the misfortunes of others on their cellphones than actually helping other people. But the days of a functioning society are fading more and more into memory. Civilisation died long ago, and with it, my sense of needing company has passed away. I cannot stand being around others: the lies, the deception, the self-absorbed nature of what humanity has become.
I am happy in my solitude. Happy in the house I built far from others. Happy with the soundproofed rooms and their silence. Happy with the only connection to the outside world being one I can turn off at the flick of a switch.
I didn’t even notice when the lockdowns occurred. I watched online reports with amusement, as the world panicked, as people rushed to supermarkets to buy toilet paper and milk. I laughed as people struggled with the sudden situation of no longer being forced to go to work in a job they hated, and instead having to remain in homes they barely occupied, and spend time with loved ones they had forgotten how to love.
For me, it was another day, another week, another month. My life remained unaffected. Long having abandoned a civilisation that no longer served my needs, I spent my days on a computer: writing, recording, uploading.
Then the drums began. I have searched for their source, turned off the power to try to help find their cause. But there is nothing that can be the origin of such a disturbance. And yet, I can still hear them. Thump, thump, thump.
The drums continue. There is no one for me to ask if they hear the constant beat. Am I insane? Is this the noise of madness? Thump, thump, thump.
I cannot stand it. I cannot sleep. Tired, unable to think, the drums continue. I am exhausted. All I want is for them to stop, for the peace to return. But they continue. Thump, thump, thump.
And so, I sit alone, holding my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth to their constant beat.
Thump, thump, thump.