Initially we just called them Dad’s ‘phases’ …
Apparently, he’d read somewhere that wearing all black would make you look slimmer. I was always doubtful about this, based on the evidence of Mum’s hairdresser and the woman over the road. Anyway, he abandoned this particular notion. But not as quickly as you’d think.
Then he picked up the idea that it wasn’t blocks of colour. Or shades, if you prefer. It was stripes. This was the beginning of his stripy phase. This lasted for quite a while. The only problem was that he couldn’t decide whether the stripes should be vertical or horizontal. Just when he was sure it was vertical that narrowed you down, another source said it was horizontal. It all became rather perplexing.
Here, in the picture, we see him at the apex of his vertical period. In fact, he was so convinced that he even wore a striped hat for good measure. On the whole, the hat was probably more efficacious than the shirt.
The ‘downward spiral’, as it was later to become known, was when Dad began to obsess about the thickness of the stripes. By that stage, the relative merits of vertical and horizontal had gone out of the metaphorical window and it was clear that a course of action needed to be taken.
I’m pleased to report that the story does have a happy ending, of sorts. Dad did manage to lose weight. Indeed, you could almost say that he’s quite svelte now.
Oh, Dad! We miss having him around, that’s for sure. But we all agree that he’s much better off where he is.
Apparently, he’d read somewhere that wearing all black would make you look slimmer. I was always doubtful about this, based on the evidence of Mum’s hairdresser and the woman over the road. Anyway, he abandoned this particular notion. But not as quickly as you’d think.
Then he picked up the idea that it wasn’t blocks of colour. Or shades, if you prefer. It was stripes. This was the beginning of his stripy phase. This lasted for quite a while. The only problem was that he couldn’t decide whether the stripes should be vertical or horizontal. Just when he was sure it was vertical that narrowed you down, another source said it was horizontal. It all became rather perplexing.
Here, in the picture, we see him at the apex of his vertical period. In fact, he was so convinced that he even wore a striped hat for good measure. On the whole, the hat was probably more efficacious than the shirt.
The ‘downward spiral’, as it was later to become known, was when Dad began to obsess about the thickness of the stripes. By that stage, the relative merits of vertical and horizontal had gone out of the metaphorical window and it was clear that a course of action needed to be taken.
I’m pleased to report that the story does have a happy ending, of sorts. Dad did manage to lose weight. Indeed, you could almost say that he’s quite svelte now.
Oh, Dad! We miss having him around, that’s for sure. But we all agree that he’s much better off where he is.
