‘Sure, thanks everybody for coming today. We really appreciate it.’
‘You had a great game! That play in the second half was sensational.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s a team game and it’s the result that counts.’
‘You were behind at the break. What did the coach say to you?’
‘Just play the way we’ve trained and everything will work out in the end.’
‘What was the problem in the first half?’
‘We didn’t get the ball enough but we dug deep.’
‘There you have it, fans. Live and exclusive to MultiSports!’
What Rocco actually said.
‘Hey, Rocco, a few quick words for the fans.’
‘Great that you came out to see me today.’
‘You had an amazing game! That play in the second half was sensational.’
‘Yeah, it was. That’s what you have to do when you play with a bunch of coke-heads.’
‘You were behind at the break. What did the coach say to you?’
‘Don’t know, wasn’t listening. What he knows about the game you could write on a napkin.’
‘What was the problem in the first half?’
‘What, you mean apart from the fact that we have no talent, no game plan and a rookie coach?’
‘Wow! Anything you want to add for our national audience.’
‘Sure. This was my last game today.’
‘What? You can’t be serious. What did your coach say when you told him?’
‘I didn’t, just like he wouldn’t have told me I’d been traded until the deal was done.’
‘What about your buddies on the team?’
‘Buddies? You’ve been reading too many comic books. We’re pros in a cattle market.’
‘ But, Rocco, you’re walking away from big bucks.’
‘No, I’ve saved every cent I’ve earned. No flash house, no flash car, no flash suits, no flash girlfriend’.
‘But what about the fans?’
‘If they want to sign up for paying for the surgeries on the body parts I’ve wrecked trying to give them a thrill, that’s fine. If they want to take me into their homes and care for me when I end up with dementia from all the concussions I’ve had, I’ll be happy to share my money with them. But you and I know they won’t, so I’ll be content with them sitting in the pub thirty years from now boring their sons with ‘He’s nothing. You should have seen Rocco.’
‘Thank you, Rocco, for the interview of my career.’
‘What career, Greg? You’re a wind-up Ken Doll in a blazer with a logo on the pocket and a bottomless pit of cliches. Go and do something your wife and kids will be proud of and you can face in the mirror.’
‘There you have it, fans. Live and exclusive to MultiSports!’