‘Ambulance. Chest pains. Can’t breathe.’
‘According to my screen you only have the standard and not the priority service. There will be a delay in connecting you while we play these messages from our sponsors.’
‘Want. Upgrade.’
‘Yes, sir. Give me your card details, listen to these recorded terms and conditions, then press hash if you agree to them.’
‘Please. Hurry.’
‘I’m sorry, that card has insufficient funds. Connecting you on the standard service now. Please hold until these messages have finished.’
‘Ambulances For You. What is the nature of the emergency? Hello, caller? Hello?’