How? Just some sleeping pills. Not the manliest way, I know, but at least it wasn’t too messy. At least, I don’t think so. I never got to see my body.
Why? I was just unhappy about things and saw no other way out but this. I don’t like thinking about it (though, it’s odd that I even can still think).
When? I don’t really know. All the movies I saw and the books I read about the afterlife all had one thing right...time is really weird on the other side.
Before I did it, I had hoped it would be the end of everything. That my heart and brain would just stop and that’d be it. But just my luck...nope. I’m not in Heaven, obviously, but Hell? I don’t know about that either. No lake of fire or demons or anything like that. I’m just walking (I guess I'm walking) down this long white hallway, lit by these weird dim yellow lights on the ceiling.
I guess I’m really dead, because I’ve been walking for what seems like a very long time, but I’ve had no desire to sit down or go to the bathroom. Good thing, because there’s nowhere to sit down or no doors. However, I do wonder where I am and where the (Hell) heck I'm supposed to be going.
Then, out of nowhere, I hear this strange and creepy voice....like an electric razor trying to talk.
*zzzzz zzzz itsdecided zzzzz zzzzzz*
Then everything goes dark. A cold wind like nothing I’d ever felt in life starts blowing and I feel like I'm floating. First slowly, then a little faster, then slowly again. Then these voices that seem to be coming from both sides of me, also from above and below. Loud, jumbled, but clear. Very familiar.
WHY DID HE DO IT?
What?
I LOVED HIM SO MUCH!
Oh...
I’LL NEVER GET OVER THIS!
I’m...
ALL WE CAN DO IS PRAY!
No...
WHY, BABY, WHY???
Oh, God, don’t...
I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW!
It wasn’t anyone's...
I WANNA DIE TOO!
Oh, make this stop, please! I can’t take it!
I DON’T REALLY CARE ANYWAY!
...
DEAR LORD, SEE US THROUGH THIS!
There’s no fire, but I must be in...
I HATE THAT SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT!
Oh, God...no more...stop it, please...let me take it back...