“Yes sir, welcome to the Hotel California, how may I help you?”
I am checking in.”
“Yes sir, and the name?”
“Putin, Vladimir Putin.”
“Oh yes, we’ve been expecting you, Mr. Putin. Please follow me. We have reserved a room for you in a very special section of our facility.”
The clerk walks down a long, dimly lit hallway and then pulls out a large skeleton key from his pocket and begins to unlock a very heavy door that has the name “Gehenna” deeply etched into it. Suddenly and violently the door swings open as the force and heat not unlike a blast furnace explodes through the doorway knocking the clerk off his feet. Extremely hot steam rises as well as the screams of agony from the tormented souls below. The clerk rises to his feet and tries to regain his composure.
“Mr. Putin, I think you’ll be impressed with how organized we are here, '' the clerk comments as they descend the steps down into the darkness. The lower they go the higher the temperature and at one point the pungent smell of sulfur invades their nostrils to the point they can barely breathe.
Eventually they come to a place where their blood begins to boil and it feels like red-hot spikes are being driven into their heads from all angles. Putin tries to leave but it is as if some unseen power forces him to continue on.
“Here we go. This is your room.We do things alphabetically here and if you notice Mr. Putin, your room is located between Mr. Hitler’s and Mr. Stalin’s. Please don’t forget our motto,
“You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.”