A month or so before, he started substitute teaching. It seemed like a good option. The pay was decent. He didn’t need an education degree, so even his unmarketable liberal arts degree was good enough. There really wasn’t much work to do. All the job required most days was taking attendance, giving an assignment the teacher had left, and—the most important part—making sure the kids didn’t destroy the school.
But there was a dark side to the job. Most of the time, he worked at a middle school. This school was full of obnoxious thirteen-year-old boys, who thought that it was hilarious that his last name was Dick. Alan knew they constantly made crude jokes about his name behind his back.
What horrors await me today? Alan wondered. All he knew was that he was subbing for the health teacher—so today would probably be an assignment on something like the importance of a nutritious diet. He picked up the note the teacher had left him. He didn’t have time to read it before the first student, Jason, appeared
Alan grated his teeth. Jason was one of the most annoying boys in the school. It would be Alan’s luck to have Jason in the first class on Monday morning.
Another boy came in. “Look who’ll be teaching sex ed today!” Jason yelled to the other boy. “Mr. DICK!”
Both boys shrieked with laughter, as they headed for their desks.
Alan looked at the teacher’s note. Yes, the current unit was sex ed. And—even worse!—today’s reading assignment was on the male reproductive system.
This will be a terrible day, Alan thought.