Julie divorced William to get away from his criticisms, his stubbornness and anxiety.
A great job opportunity opened up as an art director and Julie whisked off to another province ready to build a fresh life. She started dating. Julie and William still had some cursory contact on birthdays and holidays.
One day about three years after the divorce, William texted her to say that he had cancer.
Julie arranged for some time off work and flew out to help him since he had no family or close friends to be with him. No one should be alone while they are going through cancer treatments.
It felt awkward and strange to be sharing the apartment with William, albeit not the bed. He was ill at ease as well.
The following day, William went to the hospital for his chemo infusion. Julie brought her laptop and was able to do some work while she waited for his treatment to end.
"Technology has always been hard for me," William said. "It's just not the way my brain works, but I have to use it for the photos."
Julie knew that, as a freelance photographer, he spent many hours editing his photos on the computer but she hadn't realized that it was a struggle for him. He had a very good eye and his photos were stunning. She just assumed the whole process came naturally to him.
Later that week as the chemo made William feel sick, he grew more anxious.
"When I was a kid, my mom would get annoyed with me when I was sick because it meant she had to take time off work to look after me. I was always afraid that she would get fed up and make me go to school when I felt terrible."
Julie put her arms around him. He'd never shared much about his mother.
"When I finished high school, my dad told me I was on my own."
"That would be scary," Julie mused.
"Death is scary. Thanks for coming, Julie." He tentatively took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry I was awful to you. I was scared that you would leave me and it felt like you had already rejected me and left. Pretty stupid. I made you leave. I miss you."
Later that evening, Julie lay awake thinking about what William had been telling her: his difficult childhood, his struggles with a probable learning disability, his fear of abandonment. She reflected on his beautiful photos, a window into his heart.
When they were married, she had been quick to be defensive when he was critical, but hadn't tried to understand the reasons for his actions. HIs cold-hearted parents had left him vulnerable to fear and anxiety. It had been easy for her to be judgmental, not so easy to be compassionate.
The next morning, Julie smiled at William and said, "This treatment is going to take a while. I'll be here for you, I promise."
A great job opportunity opened up as an art director and Julie whisked off to another province ready to build a fresh life. She started dating. Julie and William still had some cursory contact on birthdays and holidays.
One day about three years after the divorce, William texted her to say that he had cancer.
Julie arranged for some time off work and flew out to help him since he had no family or close friends to be with him. No one should be alone while they are going through cancer treatments.
It felt awkward and strange to be sharing the apartment with William, albeit not the bed. He was ill at ease as well.
The following day, William went to the hospital for his chemo infusion. Julie brought her laptop and was able to do some work while she waited for his treatment to end.
"Technology has always been hard for me," William said. "It's just not the way my brain works, but I have to use it for the photos."
Julie knew that, as a freelance photographer, he spent many hours editing his photos on the computer but she hadn't realized that it was a struggle for him. He had a very good eye and his photos were stunning. She just assumed the whole process came naturally to him.
Later that week as the chemo made William feel sick, he grew more anxious.
"When I was a kid, my mom would get annoyed with me when I was sick because it meant she had to take time off work to look after me. I was always afraid that she would get fed up and make me go to school when I felt terrible."
Julie put her arms around him. He'd never shared much about his mother.
"When I finished high school, my dad told me I was on my own."
"That would be scary," Julie mused.
"Death is scary. Thanks for coming, Julie." He tentatively took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry I was awful to you. I was scared that you would leave me and it felt like you had already rejected me and left. Pretty stupid. I made you leave. I miss you."
Later that evening, Julie lay awake thinking about what William had been telling her: his difficult childhood, his struggles with a probable learning disability, his fear of abandonment. She reflected on his beautiful photos, a window into his heart.
When they were married, she had been quick to be defensive when he was critical, but hadn't tried to understand the reasons for his actions. HIs cold-hearted parents had left him vulnerable to fear and anxiety. It had been easy for her to be judgmental, not so easy to be compassionate.
The next morning, Julie smiled at William and said, "This treatment is going to take a while. I'll be here for you, I promise."
