As I sit waiting, my gnawed fingers move quickly along the edge of the table like I’m badly playing the piano.
I take a sip of my frothy mocha to calm me.
I see Steven through the window wearing his facemask which has steamed up his glasses. He shakes off his umbrella outside and opens the door. We haven’t seen each other since Mum’s birthday party last month.
He smiles at me and sits down.
“We have to tell mum,” I say immediately as the words echo into the depths of my mug.
“Tell her what…that it was us that did it? I thought we had already talked about this,” my brother replies as he signals for the waiter.
“Don’t you feel guilty about what we did?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “It was an accident.”
“It’s been on my mind a lot more the last few weeks and I don’t like lying to her, especially as it would have been Nan’s birthday this month.” There was no reaction from him.
This is a waste of time.
My brother and I had a lot to drink that night at Mum’s birthday party. Mum had gone up to bed when Steven found our old football in the back of the cupboard. I used the fireplace as a goal, but I couldn’t stop the ball. Then it happened; Nan’s very old and sentimental vase that was left to Mum slowly shattered as it hit the floor.
We are both responsible for breaking the vase and she should know the truth. I should face her, but should I leave my brother out of it?
I make an excuse to leave. I’ll go back to work now so I can leave early and see mum to confess but I have no idea what to say or how to begin.
“We’ll catch up more in a few days, Steven. I’ll call you.” I grab my umbrella and coat from the back of the chair.
Time seemed to drift slowly sitting at my desk. I thought by now that I would have been able to come up with a plan on how to explain to Mum what happened. Maybe some flowers will help. She is our mother after all, she should forgive us; shouldn’t she?
I’m sitting in my car outside Mum’s house. I still have no idea what to say and my hand has been gripped to the door lever for what seems like hours.
I knock and the door opens. My eyes roll up.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as I tilt my head.
“I told her, Adam, I told mum everything and explained what happened and how it was all your fault; you don’t need to worry anymore,” said my brother grinning as he welcomed me in.
Damn it, I forgot the flowers.