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The Closet, by Jim Bartlett

10/10/2018

 
Staked in the corner of the front yard, the sun-bleached “FOR SALE” sign, now mostly covered in weeds, serves as much an invitation as warning. A good number of the windows are broken or boarded, and the front door more opened than closed. The paint has become dandruff, flaking into the dried planters that once lit up with mums and daisies and marigolds.

Upstairs, down the hall and in the far back bedroom, the closet door sits ajar, allowing the musty smell of clothes long since worn, of ratty cardboard boxes filled with pictures of lives long forgotten, to fill the room. The pull-down blinds, yellowed and cracked with age, block any hope of sun or moonlight, leaving the room sentenced to a life of dark.

Mice wander the dusty floor, their pitter-patter in harmony with a lone cricket that sings from under one of the baseboards. Then, somewhere just outside, footsteps creak first on the stairs, then in the hall. As they near the door, the mice scatter to their hiding places, the cricket stops his tune.

The bedroom door scrapes open and the footsteps stop just inside. The light comes to life, its glow cutting an amber swath into the closet.

“As you can see, this is one of the larger bedrooms, and has a lot of potential.”

The footsteps resume, slowly crossing the room.

Deep in the closet, the monster ducks into the shadows.

Lunch has arrived.
Michael McCarthy link
11/10/2018 05:57:02 pm

Another excellent flash. Totally unexpected ending.
Lovely, deceptive build up!

Jim
11/10/2018 10:59:41 pm

Thanks Mike for the read and the nice comments!!

Doug B.
12/10/2018 03:42:24 am

Very descriptive story with a nice touch on the ending. Thanks for sharing your twisted mind.

Jim
12/10/2018 03:59:19 am

Thanks Doug! Yeah, it is a little twisted, eh?

Carol Garrasi
12/10/2018 05:21:32 pm

"The paint has become dandruff." No one turns a phrase better. I love the visuals. A sweet heartwarming tale about dinner. Well done.

Jim
12/10/2018 05:27:38 pm

Thanks Carol! A sweet heartwarming tale about dinner...I don't think I could have put it better ;-)

Mike B.
14/10/2018 04:05:35 am

Great job as always Jim, you painted such a vivid picture with so few words. I could say lots more but, I don't want to give anything away.

Jim
14/10/2018 05:31:49 am

Thanks Mike - always appreciate your read and especially the kind words.


Comments are closed.

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    Friday Flash Fiction is primarily a site for stories of 100 words or fewer, and our authors are expected to take on that challenge if they possibly can. Most stories of under 150 words can be trimmed and we do not accept submissions of 101-150 words.


    However, in response to demand, the FFF team constructed this forum for significantly longer stories of 151-500 words. Please send submissions for these using the Submissions Page.

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    One little further note. Posting and publishing 500-word stories takes a little time if they need to be formatted, too.
    ​Please note that we tend to post longer flash fiction exactly as we find it – wrong spacing, everything.

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