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Two Straws, by Jim Bartlett

20/2/2021

 
FOOD
He rests his elbows on the diner’s Formica tabletop, a sudden smile finding his face as he notices how close of a match the booth’s Naugahyde seats are to her glowing red lipstick. Not that his face isn’t pretty much frozen that way any time he’s around her.

She catches that smile, as if it were tossed her way, and stretches her hand across the table, grabbing hold of his. Chubby Checker is playing on the jukebox, and for a moment, as she gives his hand a tug, he thinks she’s going to drag him out onto the black and white checkered floor to do “The Twist.”

Oh, how he hates dancing. But for her...anything.

Instead she just stares back, her head swaying to the tune, her soft brown curls bouncing on her shoulders. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath, wanting the moment to never end.

“Anything you’d like?”

His eyes pop wide, and he turns to his side. Their waitress, tall, with horned rimmed glasses tipped up and tangled into hair also as red as the Naugahyde, stands to the side chomping gum, her head cocked, a yellow Number 2 pencil to her little pad.

“A chocolate shake,” he replies. “Two straws.”

Her mouth goes slack and she stands there in shock, as if having seen a ghost. After what seems forever, she drops her arms and turns, taking only a single step before stopping and spinning back his way.

Her look hits him like an electric shock, and in that moment he realizes that somehow her white uniform dress has changed into green scrubs, purple little ducks stamped here and there. That her paper pad has transformed into a clipboard, several pinkish sheets rolled over the top, and the Number 2 pencil, while still yellow, has become a fancy pen of some kind. He now sits in a wheelchair at a table in a spacious dining room, sunshine pouring in through large paned windows along the side, rather than a diner, Chubby Checker pouring out of the jukebox somewhere in the back.

And Emma, her long brown curls and soft green eyes, no longer sits across from him, her warm hand wrapped in his.

“Rachel....get Mrs. Crowley. Mr. Dillion just spoke! Five long years and he finally spoke! He actually spoke to me!! And guess what...he wants a chocolate shake,” the waitress turned caregiver calls out. But then she stops, her face going into a funny twist as she looks his way. “Wait...did you say you wanted two straws?”
Doug
20/2/2021 07:41:37 pm

Nicely done Jim. Weren't sure where we were going to end up but it came together . Good job.

Jim link
20/2/2021 08:39:25 pm

Thanks much, Doug. Glad you enjoyed it!
Take care
Jim

marjan sierhuis
20/2/2021 10:30:42 pm

A fun story with a delicious little twist at the end. Nicely done, Jim.

Jim link
20/2/2021 11:43:10 pm

Thanks so much, Marjan. Always appreciate your comments!!
Take care
Jim

Mike B
21/2/2021 12:03:18 am

Really enjoyed it Jim!! So descriptive, l was in a malt shop back in the happy days right away. I can’t tell the last time I heard the word Naugahyde. An unexpected kind of twist at the end. This Story is a Winner in my book.

Jim link
21/2/2021 12:27:29 am

Thanks so much, Mike. Yeah, I don't think there's quite the demand for Naugahyde like there used to be. ;-) So glad you enjoyed the story.

Take care
Jim

Sue Clayton
21/2/2021 01:29:51 am

Held me right to the end, Jim, and what an ending it was. Well done.

Jim link
21/2/2021 02:13:51 am

Thanks ever so much, Sue. Glad it held you to the end!

Take care
Jim

Pamela Kennedy
21/2/2021 03:07:00 am

A very enjoyable read...loved the ending.

Jim link
21/2/2021 04:32:48 am

Thanks, Pamela! So glad you enjoyed it!!

Take care
Jim

Padmini Krishnan
21/2/2021 08:06:09 am

Intriguing...and leaves one with questions. Had he stopped speaking due to an accident or old age? The caregiver's last line suggests that sadly there is no Emma anymore. Interesting read.

Jim link
21/2/2021 03:54:17 pm

Thanks, Padmini. Yes - this could have (should have?) been a bit longer story, maybe a little more detail on his condition (old, and a bit of dementia, by the way) to enhance the tale for the reader. He's on the brink of the century mark, and lost Emma nearly twenty years back. Always appreciate your kind comments.
Take care
Jim

Andrew Carter
21/2/2021 08:47:32 am

What a blissful twist, Jim. Can only imagine what it was like in the 50s and 60s in America with juke boxes, shakes, and everyone doin' The Twist. An age of innocence, comparatively.

Jim link
21/2/2021 03:58:34 pm

Thanks Andrew. I think most from that age see it with a special set of filters, making it seem a lot more "innocent" than it really was. But I think that is the case for almost every generation, putting those coming of age times onto a higher stage. Thanks again.
Take care
Jim

Susan Reid
21/2/2021 10:02:37 am

The suspense was great, Jim.

Jim link
21/2/2021 03:59:17 pm

Thanks so much, Sue.

Take care
Jim

michael McCarthy
21/2/2021 02:24:14 pm

thoroughly enjoyed the build up and the descriptions and then a twist that came from nowhere and all the more effective for that.
great story and a powerful ending

Jim link
21/2/2021 04:00:15 pm

Thanks, Michael! Appreciate your very kind comments.

Take care
Jim

Mike U
21/2/2021 04:16:38 pm

Great job Jim, we do get old fast... and remember the good ole days!

Jim link
21/2/2021 05:40:43 pm

Old does seem to come way too fast, doesn't it?
Thanks, Mike
Appreciate the comments
Jim

Sarah Blum link
21/2/2021 05:21:55 pm

Love the descriptions and story. Took me back to the fifties at home. This one you can expand to a full story and take us into the story of Dillon and the caregiver in scrubs and what happened to him.

Jim link
21/2/2021 05:42:42 pm

Thanks, Sarah, I mentioned to another commenter that this definitely could have/should have been a longer story, so much left untold. Maybe a follow up some day down the road.

Maybe from the caregiver's eyes...

Take care
Jim

Mary Wallace
23/2/2021 06:04:03 am

Beautiful Story Jim. Well written as always. Loved the ending.

Jim link
23/2/2021 03:40:54 pm

Thanks, Mary. Always appreciate your kind comments!

Take care
Jim

Candace Arthuria Williams
23/2/2021 04:20:47 pm

Hi, Jim. I lived in an Assisted Living Facility for seven and a half years with my husband. I was younger than most of the residents, but I found Scrabble partners and made beautiful friendships. Until one by one, they died. I can truly relate.

Jim link
23/2/2021 04:27:12 pm

Wow - seven and a half years. Amazing. You must have some wonderful stories built up from those friendships made...and lost along the way. (Hint, hint...)
Thanks so much.

Take care
Jim


Comments are closed.

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