I’d get into a job that would go sour, and think, “Well that wasn’t it; I accomplished nothing there” and move on to another job. The kids were it for a while, but they grew up, grew away, didn’t need me anymore and I’d think, “Well, that wasn’t it; anyone could have done that and they don’t need me” and I’d move on to something else.
Start a business, make a lot of money, then I’d feel like I’d “arrived.” Did that. Nope, that wasn’t it; I’m still waiting for something—I just don’t know what it is.
Start a hobby, like cake baking or ceramics. Maybe I’ll take up drawing or painting. None of those did it.
Remarry after the death of a husband. Nope, that wasn’t it. I’m still waiting.
Buy a house—decorate it to suit myself and not others. THIS is what I have waiting for! Then the project was done and I sat down and waited. Something else is supposed to happen. There’s a reason I’m here; I just have to wait for it.
Retire and try to enjoy not working—that’s DEFINITELY not it.
Decide, out of sheer boredom, to write some books. I’m better at it than I thought I’d be. This is it, I’m thinking—I’ve been waiting to write these books. Then I realized the books won’t make a difference in anyone’s life, so that can’t be it.
Start trying to sell the books, leave a little more money for the kids. With every sale, it feels like Christmas; so thrilled someone would want to read my books! The money is not enough to make a difference, but I’d like to leave a legacy of sorts, have them proud of my writing after I’m gone and maybe make a dime for them. Nope, that’s not it. I’ll keep waiting—something’s bound to happen soon.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and saw this bizarre, shadowy figure standing by my bed, dressed in a long black robe and holding a scythe. I didn’t get scared or anything; I just looked at him and said, “Well, I’ll be damned. So you’re what I’ve been waiting for.” And he nodded yes, and with a bony finger motioned for me to come to him. I told him I’d go tomorrow night, but not tonight, and he smiled and nodded and was gone.
So today, I’ve been cleaning up some stuff, completely calm, cool and collected. I told him I’d go with him tonight, and he seems ok with that. I don’t know what time he’ll be back for me. I’ll just have to wait.