“Damn, why the hell can’t Southwest afford a decent intercom, Shelly?”
“Chill, girl. At least we can quit tossing puny peanut packs for a while.”
“Not long enough, Shelly.”
“Well, it gives me enough time to use the bathroom.”
“Okay, I got your back; enjoy.”
“I will,” Shelly smirked.”
Click! “This is your captain speaking; sorry for the bumpy ride, heh, heh!...ssssss…ssssss…No seriously. Hope all is well. Things will smooth out soon, but stay in your seat and keep buckled up for now.”
“’Oh Captain, My Captain,’” Shelly sang out loudly and clearly from a toilet in the tail of the aircraft.”
“What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout in there? Ya’ gotta get back in your seat.”
“Mind your own business; I’ll take care of myself,” Shelly replied with a groan.
Ten minutes later, Shelly walked out of the restroom and hung an Out of Order sign on the door. “What’s up Shelly? Constipation?” Tina snickered.
“No, I would call it engaging in an act of mercy, relieving a man who’s been sporting a raging hard-on since taking Viagra three hours ago.”
Tina smiled. “You little devil! I always sort of had a fantasy about getting in on with someone seven miles in the air in an airplane bathroom. It must have been great?”
“Hardly fulfilling, I assure you, Tina. The sexy stranger just had a heart attack while making love to me.”
“Oh God, how cliché, Shelly: Death during sex.”
“That all you got to say Tina?”
“Dunno—guess we should confirm his death and tell the captain.”
“Hey, girl. I’m not going near him again.”
“Why did you leave the door open, Shell?”
“I didn’t, Tina. What the hell you talking about?”
Tina stepped forward, pointed to the partially open door, then pushed it in. “The bathroom’s empty, Shelley; there’s no dead guy....You little shit!”
“Got cha, Tina!” Shelly jeered, licking her finger and drawing an imaginary #1 in the cold air.
“You bitch!” Tina shouted loud enough for first class passengers to hear. Tina and Shelly looked at them, then at each other and smiled. “Buckle up,” Shelly added. “You’re all in for a bumpy landing!”