That Coldplay song ‘Yellow’ is playing in the background, droning away like a dying bagpipe, ‘It was all yello-o-o-ow…’ I just want it to stop, stop, stop.
I’ve no idea what else I want to listen to or what I would rather do. I just want something new, different, something fresh, anything to get me out of the Coldplay sound prison.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve nothing against the colour yellow. And I’m happy with songs about yellow, too; ‘Mellow Yellow’, ‘Yellow River’, even ‘Yellow Submarine’, they’re all shades of Dulux I can dance to. But this droning, whining, ‘yello-o-ow’, no, just make it stop!
The opposite of yellow is blue, isn’t it? I think so. I seem to remember it from school physics, like I remember nothing else, except for all that stuff about splitting the atom. That was cool. But maybe if I concentrate on blue, think blue, sing blue songs, I can cancel out whingeing yellow Coldplay? ‘Rhapsody in Blue’, ‘Blue Hat for a Blue Day’, ‘Blue Monday’, yeah, blue stuff, bring it on, get it on the hi-fi now!
Hang on – the Coldplay track has finsihed. What’s next? Nothing? Come on, bung another CD on, or get an iPod you cheapskates! Just put some music on. I don’t care what. Something old, something new, something borrowed or, yeah, maybe something blue but not, absolutely not ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay. I want something that fills life with colour, not something that drains it away along with the will to live.
Why is no one listening to me? Is there no one else here? Why am I talking like this? Why am I here at all?
Where am I?
Ah – found the hi-fi. And it’s my hi-fi! I’m at home? How can I have a CD with ‘Yellow’ on it? It would have got the frisbee treatment years ago! Was it planted on me by some enemy, some terrorist who uses bad music as a weapon?
I think I’ll sleep now. Here, on the floor by the hi-fi. There seems to be nobody about, it’s my hi-fi, my flat, so no one should mind.
I’ll switch off the hi-fi, just in case.
I’ve no idea what else I want to listen to or what I would rather do. I just want something new, different, something fresh, anything to get me out of the Coldplay sound prison.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve nothing against the colour yellow. And I’m happy with songs about yellow, too; ‘Mellow Yellow’, ‘Yellow River’, even ‘Yellow Submarine’, they’re all shades of Dulux I can dance to. But this droning, whining, ‘yello-o-ow’, no, just make it stop!
The opposite of yellow is blue, isn’t it? I think so. I seem to remember it from school physics, like I remember nothing else, except for all that stuff about splitting the atom. That was cool. But maybe if I concentrate on blue, think blue, sing blue songs, I can cancel out whingeing yellow Coldplay? ‘Rhapsody in Blue’, ‘Blue Hat for a Blue Day’, ‘Blue Monday’, yeah, blue stuff, bring it on, get it on the hi-fi now!
Hang on – the Coldplay track has finsihed. What’s next? Nothing? Come on, bung another CD on, or get an iPod you cheapskates! Just put some music on. I don’t care what. Something old, something new, something borrowed or, yeah, maybe something blue but not, absolutely not ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay. I want something that fills life with colour, not something that drains it away along with the will to live.
Why is no one listening to me? Is there no one else here? Why am I talking like this? Why am I here at all?
Where am I?
Ah – found the hi-fi. And it’s my hi-fi! I’m at home? How can I have a CD with ‘Yellow’ on it? It would have got the frisbee treatment years ago! Was it planted on me by some enemy, some terrorist who uses bad music as a weapon?
I think I’ll sleep now. Here, on the floor by the hi-fi. There seems to be nobody about, it’s my hi-fi, my flat, so no one should mind.
I’ll switch off the hi-fi, just in case.
