Blade, by Sue Clayton

13/11/2020

The steel blade inches closer, light refracting off its razor sharp edge.

“Don’t move,” a voice as solemn as the grave commands.

The blade wielding voice does nothing to allay my fear.

My head feels numb but my body is tense; nerve-endings spasm.

Through eyes frozen open I can see the blade’s every move, but cannot flee.

Ensnared in mind-bending torture I hide behind a visualized vortex of rainbows as it slices and dices.

Cut follows cut and I discern what has been shrouded for so long…

…now that my eyes are cataract free.

Sandra James

13/11/2020 08:47:58 am

That sounds about as much fun as the dentist, Sue :( Unfortunately, on my last optometrist visit he told me I had the beginnings of cataracts. Well overdue for a new eye exam (thanks, covid!) so will be interesting to know if they've progressed. Great story, really built the suspense!

Swapan k Banerjee

13/11/2020 10:17:58 am

Like Anne Sexton, Sue, you exhume nightmares and give shape to the shapeless. You're very brave indeed.

Padmini Krishnan link

13/11/2020 11:43:34 am

An unexpected ending. I imagined something else. nicely written, Sue...

Paritosh Chandra Dugar

13/11/2020 12:08:20 pm

Superb word picture. Unexpected yet very comforting ending. Well done, Sue.

Pamela Kennedy

13/11/2020 12:57:29 pm

I'm going to need lots of courage to get through that operation...well done story, Sue

Mary Wallace

13/11/2020 01:34:18 pm

Well that's put me off seeing the eye specialist. I thought it might have been a child at the hairdressers. Gripping story, well done.

Don Tassone link

13/11/2020 02:59:45 pm

Note to self: no more eye doctor appointments. 👀

Jim link

13/11/2020 03:31:09 pm

Ooooo - good one Sue! Painted a nice picture, both descriptively and with the build of suspense, then delivered the slice of a twist.
Jim

Susan F. Reid

13/11/2020 04:49:47 pm

Sue, Great twist. I had a knife pulled on me while walking home decades ago. I remember the light reflecting on the blade. I may fictionalize it into a story.

Sue Clayton

13/11/2020 11:44:57 pm

Not my experience, not yet, but a friends. Susan, I'm glad you survived your blade experience; you should definitely write about it. It would be a much more dramatic story than mine.

Thank you all for your much appreciated comments.

Krystyna

14/11/2020 02:58:17 am

I’m shivering in awe of your vivid blade description, Sue. Excellent portrayal of the procedure. Surprise ending most welcome.

John Cooper

14/11/2020 12:19:42 pm

Nice twist to very descriptive tale. Nice work.

Rod Drake

19/11/2020 05:30:16 pm

Great visual details; tight and taut storytelling

Comments are closed.

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