He’s a chainstore Santa, the kind of guy who puts up decorations in October!
Her sassy black friend introduces them. They talk, disagree, argue…
They meet at a party some days later after some speedy personal growth, and find themselves under the mistletoe.
They kiss; it’s a miracle of love at Christmas!
Suddenly, there’s a spray of bullets and blood, the thud of collapsing bodies.
A giant, heavily-armed turkey steps over their gory corpses.
‘I hate Chistmas,’ he says.