A tear trickled down her cheek as she turned to her new life with her aunt.
She finished packing her bags with the few things she wanted to keep – some clothes, her favorite toys, and her precious photographs of people whose pictures would never be taken again. She picked up the bags and looked around the room one last time. Her old teddy bear. The checkers game she used to play with her brother. The other toys that Mom and Dad had given her before… Before…
A tear trickled down her cheek as she turned to her new life with her aunt.
Peggy Gerber
21/1/2022 04:30:32 pm
This was so sad. I hope her aunt is a wonderful person.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:46:07 pm
Thank you. I'd like to think that she is. 21/1/2022 05:09:32 pm
Such a sad story, yet we know there is more. What happened to mom and dad and brother? And, how will life be with her aunt. I think we're all rooting for her and want it to be a good one.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:47:53 pm
Good questions. I deliberately omitted the inciting incident since I thought the story was more powerful that way. My own thought is that the rest of her immediate family were in a fatal car accident.
Paritosh Chandra Dugar
21/1/2022 06:35:36 pm
Poignant! Well written, Lynn.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:48:51 pm
Thank you, Paritosh. I'm glad it came across as being poignant and not melodramatic; I had feared it might have been a bit too over-the-top.
Candace Arthuria Williams
21/1/2022 06:48:00 pm
Oh Lynn, you've done it again. Your family stories are like "Little House on the Prairie," from which the guys turn away, blinking back tears.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:49:22 pm
What a compliment! Thank you. :-)
Marie Johnson-Ladson
21/1/2022 09:09:32 pm
Her family is gone but not forgotten. Great story!
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:50:27 pm
Thank you, Marie.
Dee Lorraine
21/1/2022 10:25:25 pm
Wow, Lynn. This is such as poignant story. I can feel the sadness in the room and in her heart. I agree with all the earlier comments.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:51:11 pm
Thank you, Dee. "Poignant" was precisely what I was aiming for; I'm glad the story worked for you.
Jennifer Duncan
21/1/2022 10:34:39 pm
What a tragic story. Heartfelt.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:55:16 pm
Thank you, Jennifer. It's odd; my longer stories are almost always upbeat, but my story ideas for this shorter format tend to be a lot more depressing. I actually prefer writing the happier stories.
Sue Clayton
22/1/2022 01:01:19 am
Words full of grief...an orphan's lament.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:56:56 pm
Hello Sue. There are few greater griefs than losing one's family when one is but a child.
Sandra James
22/1/2022 02:51:39 am
So sad but I'm imagining a wonderful Aunt to ease the pain. Well done, Lynn!
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:57:27 pm
Hello Sandra. I like your optimism, and I am imagining something similar.
Fliss Zakaszewska
22/1/2022 11:19:01 am
So sad, Lynn, but beautifully told.
Lynn Messing
24/1/2022 03:57:43 pm
Thank you, Fliss. Comments are closed.
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