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Platform Portent, by Sue Clayton

26/8/2022

 
Editor's Choice
A spectral figure lurks on the platform. Passengers swarm through its essence.

‘Do you see her?’ I ask the nearby station master.

‘I do, lass.’

‘Who is she?’

‘A Victorian lady. She was waiting on the platform for her betrothed to arrive on the London train when she was informed of his sudden demise

Heartbroken, she flung herself onto the tracks…haunted the platform ever since…cursing anyone who sees her to never wed.’ The station master sighs. ‘Never married meself.’

My mobile rings.

‘We need to talk…’

My fiancé’s train has arrived. He doesn’t alight.

My heart breaks.
Sandra James
26/8/2022 10:28:49 am

Spooky, Sue! I bet all those confirmed bachelors would be lining up to catch a train there 😉 Well done!

Mimi Grouse
26/8/2022 10:31:34 am

I like this. It feels as though there's a longer work lurking in those lines. Well done, Sue.

Jenny Logan
26/8/2022 11:45:05 am

Aww, this is sad, Sue.

Marjan sierhuis
26/8/2022 12:31:06 pm

Enjoyed your story, Sue.

Jacqui Wiley
26/8/2022 02:30:47 pm

Such a beautiful, haunting story Sue.

Paritosh Chandra Dugar
26/8/2022 02:59:09 pm

I liked the way the story slowly came out of the fog of the past mystery to the present reality, just as a train comes out of that station and reaches this one. Well done, Sue.

Pamela Kennedy
26/8/2022 07:04:00 pm

Haunting beautiful, Sue.

Jim Bartlett link
26/8/2022 09:02:36 pm

Several beat me to the punch with their comments - but this really is good.
Jim

Sivan Pillai
27/8/2022 05:30:20 am

A haunted platform! Enjoyed reading the well crafted story, Sue.

Shoshauna Shy
27/8/2022 12:56:30 pm

Beautiful language here, Sue.

Rashna Walton
27/8/2022 01:10:09 pm

Beautifully told.

Yin Mee Cheah
27/8/2022 09:50:43 pm

Wow Sue, that gave me the chills! Good story!

David Milner
27/8/2022 10:15:27 pm

A modern day melodrama feel.

Don Tassone link
28/8/2022 03:47:31 pm

Haunting. Well done, Sue.

Sue Clayton
30/8/2022 08:24:20 am

Thank you one and all. Comments gratefully received, as always.


Comments are closed.

    "Classic"
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    Since Friday Flash Fiction began in September 2013, 100-word stories were its 'beating heart'.

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