The wretched lords rejected our tax credits cut proposals. Honestly, talk about biting the hand that feeds! At least the multi-millionaire Lord Lloyd-Webber saw sense and flew back to vote in favour.
Then there was immigration – the fear of which we used to incite votes for us. Turns out, there are more people coming to this country than ever before. We WILL reduce this!
And… Oi, you at the back, shut up!