An intriguing project, and with amendments, has possibilities. However, there are a few points to which you must attend as outlined in my full report, but in brief: POV wanders uncertainly and, until the third chapter, seems to be the POV of the father. Your grasp of the English language is masterful, but you are using far too much exposition and there is an urgent need to align far more with the ‘show, don’t tell’ principle. The title is weak; ‘Pride and Prejudice’ – really…?
And that is why Jane Austen’s masterpiece would not be published today.