Culture And Religion, by Eric Smith

Mennonites speak their own language, speak English with a Swedish accent, call us English, a slanderous term; drive horse-drawn buggies; yank their kids from the Mennonite school at fourteen to put them to work soon after which they marry to make babies; eschew automobiles but ask for rides; shun inside land lines to keep wires from their houses but speak on pay phones and proliferating cellulars; avoid alternating current while embracing batteries and diesel-fuel-powered generators for well pumps and power tools; sit brothers on the right, sisters on the left in church; and fervently believe we English are hopelessly damned.