Our motto at God Insurance: Pray up and be saved. We offer the most reasonable rates in creation (pending credit approval). No confession required. Sign up now. No matter what your sin is, we can hammer out the dents in your soul and repair your conscience back to original sin condition (baptism optional). Best of all, God’s comprehensive plan comes with a special group rate for Atheists, Agnostics, and Scientologists. Sign up now, so your loved ones can rest easy and stop worrying about your otherwise inevitable damnation.
Don’t be separated from Heaven for eternity. Call now. All prayers accepted.
Don’t be separated from Heaven for eternity. Call now. All prayers accepted.
