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Lisa's Demise, by Jim Bartlett

15/10/2021

 
He leans back in his chair.

What now? he thinks, as if there’s even a choice.

Because Lisa has to die. She knows too much. And she’ll spill.

He hadn’t expected to be so torn. After all, he knew from the beginning it would come to this. But she’s really grown on him.

What if...

No...she has to go.

Maybe he could make it look like an accident.

Or a home break-in gone horribly awry.

Or drugs...an overdose. Everyone knows she’s been depressed.

Yeah...that’ll work.

Smiling, he slides the chair up to the keyboard and types:

​“Chapter 6 – Lisa’s Demise”
Lynn Messing
15/10/2021 12:17:10 pm

Brilliant!

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:42:51 pm

Thanks Lynn!
Jim

Pamela Kennedy
15/10/2021 12:37:08 pm

What a surprise ending...well done, Jim!

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:43:38 pm

Thanks, Pamela! Glad you enjoyed it!
Jim

Marjan Sierhuis
15/10/2021 12:58:09 pm

🙂Looking forward to the novel. A fun story, Jim.

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:44:35 pm

What a novel idea, Marjan ;-)
Thanks so much!
Take care
Jim

Jennifer Duncan
15/10/2021 01:46:16 pm

The fun of writing - we can make it go any way we want. Good twist.

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:45:24 pm

Indeed we can. But sometimes we go where the writing takes us, too.
Thanks so much
Jim

Padmini Krishnan
15/10/2021 02:53:15 pm

Writers do begin to take a liking to their own characters. Things get difficult then. So very well-written.

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:46:13 pm

I'm most certainly guilty of falling for some of my characters.
Thanks much, Padmini
Jim

Krystyna
15/10/2021 03:39:21 pm

Many options. Which one would you choose at the end, Jim?
Sounds like you are on a starting line, ready to leap forward. Excellent writing.

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:47:45 pm

Indeed - many options. Sometimes that's a good thing...and others we stare at the screen frozen by our doubts as to what course is best to take.
Thanks much, Krystyna
Jim

Dee Lorraine
15/10/2021 03:41:46 pm

I love this—great ending (or beginning)!

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:48:24 pm

For Lisa, it might be the beginning to the end...
Thanks much, Dee
Jim

Elizabeth Zahn
15/10/2021 03:48:57 pm

Love it.... I actually clicked on the chapter title thinking it was a link to more! I want more....

Jim link
15/10/2021 04:50:20 pm

Appreciate it, Elizabeth! The cute little chapter title format (as well as a capital letter fix in the story) are thanks to Gordon. It does indeed invite a click as if to take you on another journey, doesn't it?
Thanks
Jim

Doug
15/10/2021 05:21:53 pm

You got me Jim. I never saw that coming. Thanks.

Jim link
15/10/2021 05:50:32 pm

Thanks, Doug. Glad I had you looking the other way, but more so that you enjoyed the story.
Take care
Jim

Sarah Blum link
15/10/2021 05:21:58 pm

Spectacular ending! You are so good at these little flashes. Keep writing.

Jim link
15/10/2021 05:51:18 pm

You are too kind, Sarah. Thanks ever so much.
Take care
Jim

Fliss Zakaszewska
15/10/2021 05:29:34 pm

Nice twist, Jim!

Jim link
15/10/2021 05:51:55 pm

Thanks so much, Fliss!
Take care
Jim

Michael McCarthy
15/10/2021 05:30:47 pm

This really is first class. I had no idea where it was going. Great build up and even better ending.

Jim link
15/10/2021 05:52:52 pm

Wow - thanks, Michael. Appreciate your kind comment!
Take care
Jim

Mike B
15/10/2021 06:59:29 pm

WOW!!! I was trying my best to figure it out with every line I read… What a great surprise!!! Well done Jim!!! Loved it!!!

Jim link
15/10/2021 08:24:06 pm

So glad you enjoyed it Mike! Priscilla, in the next comment, says it perfectly, as it is really fun when you're able to surprise the readers.
Thanks for the nice comment
Take care
Jim

Priscilla Smith
15/10/2021 07:24:02 pm

One of the fun things about writing is when you successfully surprising your reader. Nicely done!

Jim link
15/10/2021 08:25:55 pm

It most certainly is, Priscilla. I just quoted you in my reply on another comment. Thanks much for taking a moment to comment. It's always so encouraging to have folks take a moment to give their thoughts.
Take care
Jim

Paritosh Chandra Dugar
15/10/2021 07:24:32 pm

Oh! the ending--the soul of this story. Simply superb, Jim.

Jim link
15/10/2021 08:27:51 pm

Thanks ever so much, Paritosh! As I was just commenting to Priscilla, it is comments such as yours that make it all worth the while.
Thanks
Jim

Sue Clayton
16/10/2021 01:59:06 am

What more can I say after all of the other comments. Brilliant.

Jim link
16/10/2021 02:38:04 am

The fact that you took a moment to comment says it all, Sue.
And thanks ever so much for that.
Take care
Jim

Don Tassone
16/10/2021 02:18:48 am

Reads like a great Mike Hammer script. Well done, Jim!

Jim link
16/10/2021 02:38:59 am

Now that's quite a complement. ;-)
Thanks so much, Don.
Take care
Jim

David Chek Ling Ngo
16/10/2021 03:59:57 pm

What a way to relieve tension. Well done, Jim.

Jim link
16/10/2021 04:56:28 pm

Thanks so much, David! Appreciate the kind words.
Take care
Jim


Comments are closed.

    "Classic"
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