Merde, Il Pleut... by Emma Baird

29/8/2014

Simone, a native of Marseilles, cursed the Scottish weather once more.

Did the sky ever lighten from its habitual grey? Did the natives ever stir themselves to smile, or was the frown perpetual? Did the food – oh blessed Lord the food! Was everything deep-fried? Would a Scot recognise a vegetable if it stood up and bit him on the bottom?

Still, she had taken note of the various arguments going on in her adopted country. As far as she could work out, if she voted "yes" she could expect an independent weather system powered by North Sea oil and whisky.

Picture courtesy of geograph.org.uk

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