Another day at Shepherd U. Assistant Prof of Analytical Linguistics. 5 years! Wanted out, but awarded tenure-track. Master Plan initiated. Work w/ idiots, but good. Brief commute = very good. Enjoy dishing out F’s to brats. Students mostly minority. 50% graduate. I decide lives! 64% of faculty hold Ph.D.’s. Unambitious community. Zero empathy. But dating = difficult. Only impress dumb students. Male and female. Last week, scary development: confronted by English adjunct. Claimed possession of damaging emails. Threatened me. But partnership w/ Computer Science chair = adjunct bye-bye. Cross t’s, dot i’s. Must maintain Master Plan. Big things ahead. Out.
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