My tush shakes until the fashion house clothes me in a tube top that barely covers my breasts and towering black stiletto boots to accessorise their latest design in ripped drainpipe denims.
My heel catches and I plunge from the catwalk. Nipples peep out from the tube and the jeans rip up the backside; I’m not wearing knickers…audience concern; derisive chuckles from models in the wings. Cameras flash. Designer seeks novel way to advertise their ripped creation, scream rag mag headlines.