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Terminal Neurostupidoma, by Gordon Lawrie

13/11/2020

 
The surgeon was showing the patient an x-ray of his head.
 
"Bad news, sir," said the medic. "That mass in your brain is terminal neurostupidoma."
 
The patient shrugged. "Nothing wrong with me, doc."
 
"Typical symptoms are complete deafness and blindness. You feel nothing."
 
"Deaf? Blind?"
 
"What's climate change? Black lives matter? COVID?"
 
"Don't exist. Bullshit, all of them."
 
"As I said, sir, deaf and blind. That and your hat."
 
The patient stood up, marched over to a wall mirror and pointed to his red baseball cap.
 
"So? It's a regular cap. Popular brand – AGAM. Everybody's wearing them."
 
"Not everyone, sir."
Sue Clayton
13/11/2020 07:38:02 am

Wonder what will happen to all those red caps? Perhaps a magic mirror could change them to reflect Again Safe America Make. Ingenious words as always, Gordon.

Gordon Lawrie
13/11/2020 01:26:21 pm

I've always thought there might be a market for blue MACA caps: "Make America Clean Again".

I think everyone wishes America well in the coming years.

Mary Wallace
13/11/2020 01:23:11 pm

That condition is a lot more prevalent than I hoped it would be. Perhaps symptoms may fade over time once the AGAM caps are consigned to the rubbish.

Susan F. Reid
13/11/2020 04:34:18 pm

Gordon,

The metaphoric use of the mirror reflecting MAGA backwards was great.

Jim Woessner
13/11/2020 07:22:41 pm

I live in the U.S. and far too many are wearing AGAM hats, over 72 million. But I, too, loved the mirror reflection. Great device, Gordon.

David
13/11/2020 09:09:32 pm

This had me chuckling all day. Thanks Gordon.

Ramon Oteiza
14/11/2020 12:49:29 pm

This makes me remember the woman years ago who carved a backwards "B" on her forehead, and said Barack Obama supporters did it. If we don't cut all the neurostupidoma out, it just grows back with more malignance.


Comments are closed.

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