In the run-up to St Andrew's Day.🏴
By 2023, the notorious haggis wars had reached their peak. Ordinary residents cowered for safety in high-rise flats on the outskirts of every major Scottish city as haggis gangs fought pitched battles on the streets below.
Stakes were high. The gangs were competing for control of the whisky and Irn Bru drugs trades, and of trafficking of illegal migrant chorizos and spare ribs.
But following the previous Scottish First Minister’s shock assassination, his successor Florentina Fresh-Fruit was determined to clamp down on these out-of-control haggis thugs. She introduced mandatory life jail sentences for all haggis-related crimes.
And Scotland was saved.
Stakes were high. The gangs were competing for control of the whisky and Irn Bru drugs trades, and of trafficking of illegal migrant chorizos and spare ribs.
But following the previous Scottish First Minister’s shock assassination, his successor Florentina Fresh-Fruit was determined to clamp down on these out-of-control haggis thugs. She introduced mandatory life jail sentences for all haggis-related crimes.
And Scotland was saved.
