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The Sandcastle, by Sue Clayton

23/10/2020

 
Waves buffeted the distant sandcastle, pounding away at its turrets, before swallowing the castle whole and rolling back out to sea.

I’d been in a deep sleep when the children began their construction. They returned from the promenade, leaving ice-cream to melt down their fingers as they viewed their ravaged creation.

“Where’s Daddy? Did he go to buy cappuccinos?”

“He was fast asleep like you, and snoring, so we buried him in the sand then built the castle around his head,” they sobbed. “We thought he could escape.”

I crawled across to a sandy-covered hump.

Daddy was beyond escape.

Sandra James
23/10/2020 09:03:29 am

That is brilliant, Sue! I love it. Great twist ending...perfect.

Pamela Kennedy
23/10/2020 09:53:52 am

OMG! Wow! Good one, Sue.

Don Tassone link
23/10/2020 02:17:21 pm

A rather extreme snoring remedy. Funny, Sue.

Sivan Pillai
23/10/2020 02:23:41 pm

Nice remedy for snoring! Enjoyed it, Sue.

Jim link
23/10/2020 03:48:43 pm

UGH! Caught me by surprise with that ending! Yikes!!
Nice
Jim

Krystyna
23/10/2020 05:11:40 pm

Ha-Ha! Sweet dreams, Daddy! Loved your story, Sue.

Jim Woessner
23/10/2020 06:57:00 pm

Loved it. Great ending. Super.

Candace Arthuria Williams
23/10/2020 07:30:38 pm

Wow, Sue. That puts the F in flash fiction.

Paritosh Chandra Dugar
23/10/2020 07:40:16 pm

A well-crafted tale with an amazing ending. Well done, Sue.

Peggy Gerber
23/10/2020 09:09:07 pm

Wow! A cautionary tale for people that snore.

Bobby Warner
24/10/2020 02:50:14 am

Once upon a time there was a magazine called Weird Tales. This story would have fitted in perfectly. Nice, shivery job, Sue

Sue Clayton
24/10/2020 03:56:16 am

Thank you all once again for your lovely comments. They always give me a great lift.

Swapan k Banerjee
24/10/2020 06:42:05 am

The 'buffet' and 'pound' and 'swallow' and 'roll' describe the sea so perfectly.

Sue Clayton
24/10/2020 06:44:40 am

Hope you didn't get sea sick. Swapan.

Susan Reid
24/10/2020 02:47:13 pm

Your story this week was a surprise to me. I was looking forward to a metaphorical piece with a twist. This different style shows your versatility as a writer. You are definitely the champ when it comes to 100-word metaphors with a twist.

Sue Clayton
25/10/2020 01:54:21 am

Thanks for your lovely words, Susan. Hope next weeks also surprises you.

Marjan sierhuis
25/10/2020 10:03:07 am

Thoroughly enjoyed your delightful story, Sue.

Sue Clayton
25/10/2020 10:10:11 am

Thanks, Marjan. Glad you enjoyed it.

Akanksha Singh link
25/10/2020 12:51:17 pm

Wonderful story, Sue! The ending caught me by surprise, very!

Sue Clayton
26/10/2020 01:46:33 am

Thanks to you too, Akanksha.


Comments are closed.

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