Tribute to Plagiarism and Guilt, by Robert Adema

As we know the severe winter weather has prompted Canada to talk preparedness. According to their instructions, I gathered the gas line antifreeze, lock de-icer, flares, blanket, wool socks, oversize boots, mittens, thick hat, ear muffs, LED flashlight, jumper cables, cell phone charger, rope, folding shovel, candle, waterproof matches, clean juice can, first aid kit, energy bars, plastic sheet, spare pair of glasses, bungee cord, coat hanger, Swiss army knife, kitty litter and an oil soaked cloth stuffed into a plastic baggie. As if this isn't hard enough to manage, now they won't let me on the bus, with it.