Vegetables In A Stew, by Gordon Lawrie

20/8/2015

Watch out, everyone, there’s a woman over there – she’s looking at us all. Don’t like the look of this. Here she comes.

Wait, she’s saying something. EXCUSE ME??

You a-talkin’ to me? You a-talkin’ to me? What?

Why me? Why not a green or yellow pepper instead? Red’s just another colour, really. Fancy some nice tomatoes? How about a nice courgette? You see that big purple thug behind me? That’s an aubergine. Don’t mess with him, I warn you. He’s on my side.

No, I’ve just heard the dreaded word! Put us all down! PUT US DOWN!!

Please... not ratatouille...

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